Saturday, June 14, 2008

Understanding The Impact of Fostering or Adopting

Getting ready to head out for Class 8 took a lot of preparation and soul-searching.

I have finally pin-pointed the problem I have with this series. It is written based on a secular society. There is only passing mention made to religion or spirituality. This is understandable since this is not a religious-based training.

However, there is a big hole in all the scenarios and lessons. The hill looks impossible to climb when you're on your own. But when you can lay the burden on God's shoulders, you can work it through together. I am not saying that "God will provide" should be your catch-phrase and reason for not trying, just that you have someone to call out to when you are at the end of your leash.

In Class 8, we working on dealing with the family as a system. I encountered, for the first time, a scenario where the birth children had issues with a foster child placed in their home. It was very eye-opening and left me at a loss. How do you handle a child who throws down the verbal gauntlet of "If you love me, you'll get rid of him/her!"?

The family system has five major characteristics: boundaries; rules; roles; power distribution among family members; and a communication process.

Do we have any three of these going on in our current family? Not too sure about that. Our boys are gung-ho at the thought of "getting" an older sister, but are they ready to deal with the baggage that might entail? We are lucky that we want a girl, since there will be no sharing of toys or rooms, etc. They should have their stuff and she will have hers.

However, this class forced us to focus on the energies that might pull us apart as a family and cause this whole process to fail. The one thing I'm counting on is our faith in God and his ability to work in hearts. As much as these scenarios throw a wrench at us, I am starting to feel like we can do this...now that we know what to expect.

Pray for us.

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