The end of 2010 saw the fading of our hopes for Adoption from the AZ Foster Care system. It just didn't seem right, and nothing was working out.
So, we put that aside and pushed on with the family that we had, dealing with day-to-day issues.
Well, Matthew is a Senior this year and Isaiah is a Sophomore.
Through recent interactions with a family who has adopted successfully from the Foster Care system, we are looking at the process through different eyes.
At the family's recommendation, we contact AASK (Aid to Adoption of Special Kids), another agency that works with the State of Arizona.
We attended an orientation meeting, and filled out the initial application packet. Because we completed the PS-MAPP training back in 2008, we do not need to take it again. But we would need refresher training.
My wife is getting excited again. Hopefully the results will be different, since we are focusing on Foster Care first, and maybe Adoption if it works out.
Please pray for us!
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Sunday, January 15, 2017
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Class 10 or "We Did It!"
Tonight was the last class in our PS-MAPP training. We all ate pot-luck and ran through the last of the training.
We touched on what to do about abuse allegations against us, and why they might be reported if they are false.
We tied all of our training together in some thought provoking question and answer sessions.
Then it was time to complete our course evaluations and receive our certificates! Hugs and good-byes all around. Email addresses and phone numbers exchanged and out the door toward home and the future.
Our next step is the completion of our Home Study and hopeful certification from the court for adoption! We are looking at the websites for available children.
The sad truth of it is that the same kids we were looking at in January are still there. This further strengthens our resolve. Every child should know someone loves them and is fighting for them.
Can we adopt them all? [WHACK!] Sorry, I guess I shouldn't have had that last cookie. I think the sugar is playing with my mind.
Please pray for us as we complete this phase of the program and continue on to the next. Our eyes have been opened by what we learned, but we are still committed to adoption.
We touched on what to do about abuse allegations against us, and why they might be reported if they are false.
We tied all of our training together in some thought provoking question and answer sessions.
Then it was time to complete our course evaluations and receive our certificates! Hugs and good-byes all around. Email addresses and phone numbers exchanged and out the door toward home and the future.
Our next step is the completion of our Home Study and hopeful certification from the court for adoption! We are looking at the websites for available children.
The sad truth of it is that the same kids we were looking at in January are still there. This further strengthens our resolve. Every child should know someone loves them and is fighting for them.
Can we adopt them all? [WHACK!] Sorry, I guess I shouldn't have had that last cookie. I think the sugar is playing with my mind.
Please pray for us as we complete this phase of the program and continue on to the next. Our eyes have been opened by what we learned, but we are still committed to adoption.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Perspectives in Foster & Adoptive Parenting
Class 9! One more week to go. This was a short class, too. We focused on partnership building and teamwork skills.
We went through a lot of the options and resources that are available. And, reinforced again how everyone should work together with a common goal in mind...the needs of the child.
We learned about communication and the three main parts of communication. What I didn't know was the percentages of information that is passed by each part.
Verbal communication accounts for 7% of information
Paraverbal (Written and otherwise) 38%
Nonberbal (body language) 55% of communication.
Wow. And the body language is the first thing a child learns. I guess mom was right when she used to talk to me about posture and how you stand when you talk, etc.
We learned about concurrent planning, how you might have Plan A as the goal, but you also have Plans B-J on the burner in case something doesn't work out with the first one. We also talked about permanency planning.
The closer we get, the more real it becomes. The bigger the butterflies become and the more we start in on the "What if's".
Also, our case worker was there to observe for a while, and she asked if we would consider two girls for placement, instead of one. It seems there are a couple of sibling groups that need placement. Not sure if we want to do that one. Still thinking and praying about that one.
Our homework this week is quite lengthly. We have a lot of strengths and needs items to go over, as well as scenario items to work through. Next week is the last class.
I'm not sure if the class has been a positive or a negative experience. It has sure opened our eyes to society and problems. One can dwell on the horror of it all, or assimilate it and keep on the sunny side.
Praise God and put on the emotional flak jackets. We're goin' in!
We went through a lot of the options and resources that are available. And, reinforced again how everyone should work together with a common goal in mind...the needs of the child.
We learned about communication and the three main parts of communication. What I didn't know was the percentages of information that is passed by each part.
Verbal communication accounts for 7% of information
Paraverbal (Written and otherwise) 38%
Nonberbal (body language) 55% of communication.
Wow. And the body language is the first thing a child learns. I guess mom was right when she used to talk to me about posture and how you stand when you talk, etc.
We learned about concurrent planning, how you might have Plan A as the goal, but you also have Plans B-J on the burner in case something doesn't work out with the first one. We also talked about permanency planning.
The closer we get, the more real it becomes. The bigger the butterflies become and the more we start in on the "What if's".
Also, our case worker was there to observe for a while, and she asked if we would consider two girls for placement, instead of one. It seems there are a couple of sibling groups that need placement. Not sure if we want to do that one. Still thinking and praying about that one.
Our homework this week is quite lengthly. We have a lot of strengths and needs items to go over, as well as scenario items to work through. Next week is the last class.
I'm not sure if the class has been a positive or a negative experience. It has sure opened our eyes to society and problems. One can dwell on the horror of it all, or assimilate it and keep on the sunny side.
Praise God and put on the emotional flak jackets. We're goin' in!
Understanding The Impact of Fostering or Adopting
Getting ready to head out for Class 8 took a lot of preparation and soul-searching.
I have finally pin-pointed the problem I have with this series. It is written based on a secular society. There is only passing mention made to religion or spirituality. This is understandable since this is not a religious-based training.
However, there is a big hole in all the scenarios and lessons. The hill looks impossible to climb when you're on your own. But when you can lay the burden on God's shoulders, you can work it through together. I am not saying that "God will provide" should be your catch-phrase and reason for not trying, just that you have someone to call out to when you are at the end of your leash.
In Class 8, we working on dealing with the family as a system. I encountered, for the first time, a scenario where the birth children had issues with a foster child placed in their home. It was very eye-opening and left me at a loss. How do you handle a child who throws down the verbal gauntlet of "If you love me, you'll get rid of him/her!"?
The family system has five major characteristics: boundaries; rules; roles; power distribution among family members; and a communication process.
Do we have any three of these going on in our current family? Not too sure about that. Our boys are gung-ho at the thought of "getting" an older sister, but are they ready to deal with the baggage that might entail? We are lucky that we want a girl, since there will be no sharing of toys or rooms, etc. They should have their stuff and she will have hers.
However, this class forced us to focus on the energies that might pull us apart as a family and cause this whole process to fail. The one thing I'm counting on is our faith in God and his ability to work in hearts. As much as these scenarios throw a wrench at us, I am starting to feel like we can do this...now that we know what to expect.
Pray for us.
I have finally pin-pointed the problem I have with this series. It is written based on a secular society. There is only passing mention made to religion or spirituality. This is understandable since this is not a religious-based training.
However, there is a big hole in all the scenarios and lessons. The hill looks impossible to climb when you're on your own. But when you can lay the burden on God's shoulders, you can work it through together. I am not saying that "God will provide" should be your catch-phrase and reason for not trying, just that you have someone to call out to when you are at the end of your leash.
In Class 8, we working on dealing with the family as a system. I encountered, for the first time, a scenario where the birth children had issues with a foster child placed in their home. It was very eye-opening and left me at a loss. How do you handle a child who throws down the verbal gauntlet of "If you love me, you'll get rid of him/her!"?
The family system has five major characteristics: boundaries; rules; roles; power distribution among family members; and a communication process.
Do we have any three of these going on in our current family? Not too sure about that. Our boys are gung-ho at the thought of "getting" an older sister, but are they ready to deal with the baggage that might entail? We are lucky that we want a girl, since there will be no sharing of toys or rooms, etc. They should have their stuff and she will have hers.
However, this class forced us to focus on the energies that might pull us apart as a family and cause this whole process to fail. The one thing I'm counting on is our faith in God and his ability to work in hearts. As much as these scenarios throw a wrench at us, I am starting to feel like we can do this...now that we know what to expect.
Pray for us.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Where does time go?
I can't believe it's Thursday again and I've neglected the keyboard all week. Well, I've been sick. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.
Yesterday we had our official home visit from the case worker. She went over the criteria we choose last time she was here, to see if we had any changes since we started taking the classes. I'm not sure. Do I have the strength to do this?
Last Thursday's class we covered two classes worth of material, to make up for the rained out class the week before. the further we go in this endeavor, the more distressing it becomes. It is really heartbreaking to read some of the sample case studies and what these children go through at the hands of their parents. What are we doing to our children?
Ok, here is the updates of classes and topics discussed:
Class 5 - Helping Children Learn to Manage Behaviors
This subject is tough for us. There is the urge to punish, but you can't. Discipline! Punishment is "a behavior designed to stop a behavior." Discipline is " training intended to produce a specified character or pattern of behavior."
Punishment is the quick and dirty way, but Discipline produces long-term results!
We worked through the differences between RISK and SAFETY in Foster Care. Risk is the likelihood of long-term harm or mistreatment, while Safety deals with immediate issues.
An example would be the situation with the FLDS church kids in Texas. Texas CPS pulled those kids when the compound was raided. However, there was no Safety issue to justify the removal. There are Risk issues, yes, but nothing that would justify immediate action. Although I would prefer they err on the side of caution instead of Arizona, which seems to have a habit of leaving kids in bad situations until they are dead.
Mainly, we dealt with safety and care in the foster setting, and how that should help mitigate some of the behavior patterns in the children, at least to an extent.
Class 6: Helping Children with Birth Family Connection
This module is a bit hard to describe. It deals with self-concept, connections, identity and culture.
We learned the definitions of identity, self-concept, Connections, Culture, Race and Ethnicity. We worked at identifying and understanding cultural needs as well as ways to manage problems with family visits. This whole module is focused on dealing with interactions between the child and birth family and what it might entail.
Class 7: Gains and Losses: Helping Children Leave Foster Care
This module has been the hardest for me personally. We talked about children leaving the Foster Care program, either through adoption, return to parents, or Age-ing out of the system.
Unfortunately, the points of this class were hammered home through case histories and interviews with case workers and children that the system failed. They are classic stories of society failing. I took from this reading an idea of what NOT to do in the future. It was also interesting that they took one girl's story and contrasted it with the case worker's report. Wow.
Foster Parents have a big roll in transitioning children out of Foster Care, and how we fill that roll makes a big difference in how the children will function.
The homework was to read a case study and then a letter written by a adoptive family to friends telling how an adoption fell apart.
Again, do I have the strength to go on with this? Can I see this through?
Yesterday we had our official home visit from the case worker. She went over the criteria we choose last time she was here, to see if we had any changes since we started taking the classes. I'm not sure. Do I have the strength to do this?
Last Thursday's class we covered two classes worth of material, to make up for the rained out class the week before. the further we go in this endeavor, the more distressing it becomes. It is really heartbreaking to read some of the sample case studies and what these children go through at the hands of their parents. What are we doing to our children?
Ok, here is the updates of classes and topics discussed:
Class 5 - Helping Children Learn to Manage Behaviors
This subject is tough for us. There is the urge to punish, but you can't. Discipline! Punishment is "a behavior designed to stop a behavior." Discipline is " training intended to produce a specified character or pattern of behavior."
Punishment is the quick and dirty way, but Discipline produces long-term results!
We worked through the differences between RISK and SAFETY in Foster Care. Risk is the likelihood of long-term harm or mistreatment, while Safety deals with immediate issues.
An example would be the situation with the FLDS church kids in Texas. Texas CPS pulled those kids when the compound was raided. However, there was no Safety issue to justify the removal. There are Risk issues, yes, but nothing that would justify immediate action. Although I would prefer they err on the side of caution instead of Arizona, which seems to have a habit of leaving kids in bad situations until they are dead.
Mainly, we dealt with safety and care in the foster setting, and how that should help mitigate some of the behavior patterns in the children, at least to an extent.
Class 6: Helping Children with Birth Family Connection
This module is a bit hard to describe. It deals with self-concept, connections, identity and culture.
We learned the definitions of identity, self-concept, Connections, Culture, Race and Ethnicity. We worked at identifying and understanding cultural needs as well as ways to manage problems with family visits. This whole module is focused on dealing with interactions between the child and birth family and what it might entail.
Class 7: Gains and Losses: Helping Children Leave Foster Care
This module has been the hardest for me personally. We talked about children leaving the Foster Care program, either through adoption, return to parents, or Age-ing out of the system.
Unfortunately, the points of this class were hammered home through case histories and interviews with case workers and children that the system failed. They are classic stories of society failing. I took from this reading an idea of what NOT to do in the future. It was also interesting that they took one girl's story and contrasted it with the case worker's report. Wow.
Foster Parents have a big roll in transitioning children out of Foster Care, and how we fill that roll makes a big difference in how the children will function.
The homework was to read a case study and then a letter written by a adoptive family to friends telling how an adoption fell apart.
Again, do I have the strength to go on with this? Can I see this through?
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Losses and Gains
Thursday we worked through understanding the loss and grieving processes children go through when they are removed from their home.
It doesn't matter if it is a safety issue or what, there is a shock and grief process.
Working with the case profiles in the material is heart-breaking. While I know that they are fictional, there are too many children in the system with the same issues and problems.
Pray for us, and for them!
It doesn't matter if it is a safety issue or what, there is a shock and grief process.
Working with the case profiles in the material is heart-breaking. While I know that they are fictional, there are too many children in the system with the same issues and problems.
Pray for us, and for them!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Tuesday Morning Coming Down
Since today is the last day of my weekend, I'm working on the profile homework we received in class. This is extensive. The personal profile for prospective father asks for a list of all people who lived with you through various phases of your life. Birth through 5, 6-11, 12-15, and 16 through leaving home. That's going to take some thinking about.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Class 3 (2 for us)
Well, we attended our second class on Thursday night. It was very interesting. We will make up the information from the class we missed next week. We started looking at behavior patterns and signs of problems. We identified development issues on sample children, and had our eyes opened on the process.
We are still very much on-board for this, too!
Also, we went to see George Lopez last night (Friday). Woo-Hoo! It's been a wild two days now and we're going to spend Sunday recovering.
We are still very much on-board for this, too!
Also, we went to see George Lopez last night (Friday). Woo-Hoo! It's been a wild two days now and we're going to spend Sunday recovering.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Step One
We printed off the appropriate information pages from the State of Arizona websites and are determining what our next steps will be. At this point, I am praying for guidance. It is heartbreaking to look at the pictures of adoptable children online. Such potential waiting for someone to help them realize it.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Do we do it?
Is this the right thing? Do we really want another child? Is it in God's plan for us to have another child? Am I talking to myself?
I started on this journey during the Christmas music season. I was listening to a local Christian radio station and heard this wonderfully tear-jerking song about a boy's letter to Santa and all he wanted was a family.
Lately, everywhere I look, I see indicators pointing down this road. Listening on the radio I hear Focus On The Family do a show on it today and it really starts me thinking and praying for guidance on this endeavor.
Tonight after work, I started looking at adoption sites online and now I'm totally overwhelmed. Yessika has hinted that she would like to adopt another child for quite a while now. Oh, I figured out what that song was that set this whole thing in motion. It's called "All I Need," and it's by Steven Curtis Chapman. I found a video of it on YouTube.
He also has another song video on YouTube that directly speaks to the adoption issue.
So, now we study and pray for guidance. It is almost "sexy" lately to adopt a foreign child, but there are 140,000+ children in the US Foster Child system that need homes too.
My heart goes out to these "local" children who are almost forgotten in a foster program never designed to hold so many for so long.
I started on this journey during the Christmas music season. I was listening to a local Christian radio station and heard this wonderfully tear-jerking song about a boy's letter to Santa and all he wanted was a family.
Lately, everywhere I look, I see indicators pointing down this road. Listening on the radio I hear Focus On The Family do a show on it today and it really starts me thinking and praying for guidance on this endeavor.
Tonight after work, I started looking at adoption sites online and now I'm totally overwhelmed. Yessika has hinted that she would like to adopt another child for quite a while now. Oh, I figured out what that song was that set this whole thing in motion. It's called "All I Need," and it's by Steven Curtis Chapman. I found a video of it on YouTube.
He also has another song video on YouTube that directly speaks to the adoption issue.
So, now we study and pray for guidance. It is almost "sexy" lately to adopt a foreign child, but there are 140,000+ children in the US Foster Child system that need homes too.
My heart goes out to these "local" children who are almost forgotten in a foster program never designed to hold so many for so long.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)